viernes, marzo 04, 2005

Autoayuda

Continuando con la obra altruista que me caracteriza ultimamente, tres actitudes de conquista directamente desde viceland

HORNY DUDE
Completely abandoning friendly guy is some really risky shit, but it's one of the greatest places to be in pick-up land. This is usually only possible when you've heard that she likes you AND you're feeling more "on" than you've ever been. That's when you can say things like "I would ruin your life. I would take you home and walk you over to the bedroom by your hair. Then I would spank your ass so fucking hard it would feel like it was on fire. Then I'd lick your pussy so fucking slow you'd get a stomachache."

THE COLD CALL
The problem with this is the message you're sending just by doing it. When you walk up to a stranger in a bar and say hello, what you're really saying is, "All I know about you is that you're attractive but that's enough for me to want to start a relationship. My priorities are, ‘Is she hot?' and then I go from there."
Those are what everyone's priorities are but you're not supposed to admit it. Can't you at least wait until there's some kind of eye contact? I don't know what advice to give you cold-call guys. Frankly, I think you're all a bunch of assholes. It's creeps like you that have made it so hard for the rest of us to get anywhere.

THE "MUST HAVE HER" CHANT
... If you keep repeating "must have her, must have her, must have her" as you walk down the street something magical happens to you. What it does is it summons every part of your brain to focus on the problem at hand. "Is she going to be there on Thursday? OK, I will not go out Wednesday, I will have a good rest, and then I will have approximately three pints before going to the Thursday thing." These are the kind of complex processes that only a self-hypnotized brain can come up with. Remember, testosterone is a concentration drug.

bonus:
Who fucking uses "lines" these days anyway? Do you really want to fuck a girl who believes in astrology?

(si ve don hernan, que no todo es sobre la 'chimba' de vida que llevo)

2 comentarios:

  1. ¿entonces un cold call es como un freelance porque prostituye, denigra y hace más competido el negocio?

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  2. si señor, efectivamente, si fueran familia serían primos

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